I may not have mentioned this before, but I recently started working in a stripclub...as a stripper. This is something I find quite difficult to write down, as it's not really a piece of information I am keen to share with friends or family. Up until a few months ago I would never have even considered such an option. But money is a funny thing, it can make you do all kinds of crazy...It all started when a very (what I considered normal & nice) girl I worked with in a nightclub mentioned to me that she strips on the side, and has been doing it for a few years already. I almost dropped my fork (we were in the club canteen having dinner before our usual night of serving drunks and aching feet) - I had always tainted strippers with the dirty brush of skanky, gross prostitutes, and had never even considered that this pretty, funny, sweet girl would be doing such things. I asked her a million and one questions, to which my close friend Cassidy replied: "Why are you so interested? Would you ever do it?". And, shockingly, when I thought about it, I realised that I actually think I would. Especially after my friend explained how much money she made, and how she traveled all the time, and had such a flexible schedule. So I asked her why she bothered working with us in the nightclub then, if she already made so much money. She said "I have to do something else normal, otherwise I'd go mad". I'm slowly beginning to understand what she meant...
After much discussing with Cassidy, it turned out that the 'waitressing' job she'd had the year before was actually her moonlighting as a stripper. And she reinforced how much money she saved while doing it, and that it actually was pretty easy. We were both unhappy with the situation at work and tired of getting bunions from the awful shoes we were forced into wearing, so we decided to quit and start stripping together. This scared the shit out of me, but when I thought of the money it seemed worth it. We would both try get into the most well-known gentlemens club in London, as that's where the money would probably be best, and then just do it for a few months over the summer to save a decent amount of money. Finally, I plucked up enough courage to audition (which took me a good couple of weeks after chickening out multiple times), and after downing as much vodka and appletiser as possible, we went to audition at the famous club. We were told to get on stage and dance around the pole while stripping to just our g-string as quickly as possible. I remember Akon playing in the background, and shaking while pulling my dress down and trying to look sexy. It was one of the scariest things I've ever done. From the corner of my eye I saw the manager watching us and talking quietly to the lady next to him. The ordeal was over within a minute or two, and they told us we could get dressed. One by one, the lady called us over and gave us the news: they remembered Cassidy from the year before and told her she could start working the following week, but needed to watch her thigh area (she has the best legs I've ever seen!); I was then told that I need to 'tone up' and try again in 4 weeks. I was disappointed. but also happy to have gotten it over with. The following week I realised I was desperate for money, and with 20 pounds left in my wallet I did my rounds at all the strip clubs that seemed suitable, and finally found a place that would accept me. I remember calling Cassidy in tears after all the rejection and her saying "How difficult is it for a beautiful girl to make money?!". It was a devastating day for me, but I went home knowing I could make money the following day. I would need the 20 pounds to pay my 'house fee' to work.
My first day as a stripper was traumatising, to say the least. I remember sitting in a dark corner sipping on water watching all the other 'vultures' hone in on the dirtly old men that came in that day and whisper things in their ears. I remember thinking how strange it was that I thought the hardest thing about becoming a stripper would be dancing topless on stage in front of people, and giving nude private dances - but in the end the most challenging part of it all is approaching men and trying to get money out of them without them feeling like that's what you're there for. I felt miserable. I didn't belong there. But I needed money, and couldn't think of any other way. Eventually my first dance came from an old man who approached me: "Do you wanna give me a dance?" to which I stuttered "Do you want me to give you a dance...?". And that's where I lost my innocence. I'll never forget taking his hand and leading him down the dark back passage with all the little private booths, walking past each booth and seeing flashes of naked women. I felt like I was in a movie, a scary, sordid movie. I gave him the worst dance ever, at least a metres distance away and on very shaky legs. Before I took off my underwear I told him his dance was almost over, trying to get him to carry on which was a tip Cassidy had told me, but he just jumped up and said "ok, thank you!" and I was like "Um, don't you want me to finish and take off my underwear first?!" and he said "No, it's alright. Thanks, you're lovely" and walked away. I remember feeling like an absolute failure - I must have been awful if he didn't even want me to strip to fully nude! (I later found out that he was a regular and liked to leave things to the imagination, always asking the girls to keep their undies on). So my first day stripping I went home with the same 20 pounds I started with. Enough for me to pay for the next day's house fee and hopefully make more. I went home and cried for a good hour. What had I got myself into?! From there it got better, and each day I came home with a bit more. But I was constantly thinking about it, and dreamt about dancing almost every night. It was haunting me. After many talks with Cassidy I started learning to think of it as just 'work', and once I'd left work to just let it go and not think about it again until I went back. I slowly got used to the idea, and felt less disappointed in myself.
A few weeks after I'd started, my roommate lost her job in recruitment and decided she wanted to start stripping too. We had been discussing it for a while, but it was only once she was fired and stuck for a job that she realised it was the perfect opportunity. She has plans for traveling next year, and really needs to save some money too. The only problem is the husband. He would never let her do it. So we decided to tell him that she was getting a job with me at the nightclub he thought I still worked at (which, by the way, is a private members club, so there's minimal chance of him ever going there), and instead she managed to get into the same club as Cassidy, and yet another one of us lost their innocence. Like me, Saskia struggled for her first few shifts, but slowly got into it and has even been enjoying it. She does, however, talk about it all the time, which drives me crazy, so I've told her she needs to let it go. And we've decided we might even get part time jobs alongside the stripping after the Olympics, so as to keep a bit of normalcy in our lives. Otherwise it's just a life of drinking, stripping, sleeping all day and then getting ready for work again. Especially because we live together, it would just be nice to not have that consume our lives.
One thing that does annoy the crap out of me in this job, is the amount of men that tell me I'm too good/pretty/nice/intelligent, etc for this job. And then most of them just want my phone number and want to take me out on dates! I'm like "No! Give me your money! I don't want to date you!" Ahhhhhh....So I've realised my niche is Asians, especially Indians! Arabs love me too...The white boys are mostly trouble, they don't want a dance and just want a stripper girlfriend. I can't deny that I haven't given my number to a few good looking boys, but in retrospect I'm never going to reply to their messages or let them take me out - it just feels wrong because of where we met, and the first impression they got of me. If I date someone I want them to first see me for who I really am, and then maybe I'll let them know the truth of where I work, but only if I really trust them...
On that note, I have been having semi-regular casual sex with the Neighbour from my first post and it's going quite well (he is u-mazing in bed, and has almost made me orgasm, which is quite a feat without a vibrator!)...I mentioned to him the other night that I was thinking of starting stripping over the Olympics as my friend does it and it will be good money, and he readily agreed! He didn't even sound judgemental, and said he knew a girl who did it, and that I would make loads of cash. So that made me feel a lot better, because I always thought a guy would never want to be with me if he knew what I did. Turns out it's probably the women that are most judgemental when it comes to strippers. Men have had enough experience in strip clubs to know it's pretty kosher and 'innocent', and I think there's a lot of guys that think it's hot to date a stripper. Cassidy's boyfriend knows she does it and doesn't mind. I think that's amazing. Obviously it's not something I plan on doing for a long time, but for now it's a means to an end, so why not? And I plan to keep it a secret, except for an elite few of my closest friends that I know I can trust...I mean, what if I become famous one day!?
I do, however, plan to write a book about my experience.You wouldn't believe the characters I work with...Anyway, I'm off to bed to get my beauty sleep for tomorrow - I have to work and also audition at another strip club just to see how it is. I need to make some decent money for my weekend off with my aunt, who will be visiting me for a few days...So no sex for me for a while!
PS: The STD test was clear! Yay! Never having unprotected sex again...well, unless it's with my movie star lover, of course!
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